One reckoning, every trial. The only thing the coin buys is how much of your shame it can hold.
Every rank stands before the weekly tribunal, free — it runs every Sunday whatever you pay. A summons is calling that same tribunal early, on your own schedule. Unspent summons don’t carry over.
Subject: Thy knight died of generosity on Tuesday
Hear ye, Wat. The rolls are in, and they are not kind. This week thou didst donate a knight with Ng5 like alms to the poor — a won position, handed to a man named Baron_Blunder. The Caro-Kann continues to rob thee openly: 35.7% over twenty-one games, and still thou answerest its knock. The tablebase, which never lies, counts five proven wins given back this season — king-and-pawn endings among them, conversions a squire could make. Since last Sunday’s reckoning thy Tactics rose 4.2 while thy Endgames slid 3.1 — the pattern writes itself. Yet thou hast a bright spot: queenless middlegames, 60.5% — a menace when there is nothing left to hang.
Assignment for the week: ten minutes in the Endgame Dojo on king-and-pawn conversions. The opposition is not a suggestion.
— The Herald · a staged sample. Thine own roast is written every Sunday from thy actual games, and it will know exactly what thou didst.